Some smart puns...

- Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery!

- A man's home is his castle ... in a manor of speaking!

- A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

- My wife's hobby is pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.

- Dijon vu. The same mustard as before!

- Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

- A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

- I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

- Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

- Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

- Banning the bra was a big flop.

- Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

- A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

- A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

- Without geometry, life is pointless.

- When you dream in colour, it's a pigment of your imagination.

- Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

(Courtesy: A rare useful forward)